Never Mine to Make

I’m holding onto my body trying to keep the pieces and the paint from falling to the wind

It blows through and whistles my chipping teeth and hollowed skin

Guttural tension tugs at my tongue and begs me not to speak within

But I’m losing that war right now and thinking there has never been much less to win

I feel my hands like ghosts of thought holding phantoms in my limbs

The aches and breaks of memories to send me to the end

I charge forth with tenacity and take my tea with Ritalin

The surge is for protection of the anxiety’s holy grin

But they feed and i seethe at the searing burns of now and then

The lines blur autonomously I’ve never been much to control the winds

My eyes are filled with glass breaking shards for all i can

For all i am is a piercing strand of heaven and hell and god and man

I don’t even care much for this at all but its everything i have

For now i am the rocking ship crawling mindlessly to land

Inching closer to the freedom of sandy shores and handkerchief-ed hands

Hellos turn goodbye and the cycle begins again

The clutching of overseas until safety finally lands

But the impossibilities of knowing is that we never really can

And I’m rocked with impartial growing that sinks the heart and breaks the band

Snapped in and out of reality the eternal rubber hand

only to breathe and gasp formalities like a dog that barks for man

And i sit

In the hulls and in the hurries like only a weathered sign really can

Incapable or immovable but by the choice of others and their plans

I symbol north east west for the south is much too hot to swim

I fail to mention that the route is giving milestones for our sins

But thats the practicality of showing the secrets before they whisper to the hands

And send their prayers like butterflies to the essence of hope’s demands

I beg and we plead and they chose that god will lead

To the spirituality that is brimming to the tops of golden leaves

Taking leave of all the absence that’s been soaked within the trees

The sweet nothing sipped like absinthe bubbled visions of thoughts and dreams

I am sinking like a rock in the dizzied drowning seas

Lapped with salt and garbage in my mouth and on my knees

Latched to wooden people and their houses a door swinging in the breeze

My body was never mine to make but the trumpet and its sneeze

March 26, 2022